Welcome back to the world's most inconsistent blogger to walk the Earth.
Some big changes have occurred in my life, and if you don't follow me on instagram, you probably wouldn't know why.
On Thursday, May 7th, 2015, my first dog I have ever gotten passed away.
Yodel was a few days shy of being 13, and words cannot even begin to explain the pain I have been dealing with. Yodel was diagnosed with kidney failure, and we were told we had approximately a year left with him. As the days passed on the sooner we realized that we may not have copious amounts of time with the fur ball. His health was depreciating and the look in his eyes just told us that day, "It's time."
No one prepares you for what it's like to lose a pet, and I had no idea that such a small little boy could have such an Earth shattering impact on me. Though I still have my three pugs, missing a Mini Australian shepherds bark echoing throughout the house kind of leaves you distraught. Not going to lie, I've been sobbing in bed for the past five days or so, not putting on makeup, hell, not even showering. I've hit a road block in my life.
The whole death thing really puts life into perspective for you, and I guess that has been what I've been coping with. But then I see such potential in myself. My brand, my videos, even my outfits. I know mourning for days on end will not accomplish much, and my healing time is somewhat over. I begin production for WASIL this Thursday, and I'm excited. Not only will my creations come to life, but also I will be forced to get up and get dressed everyday, which means I will begin documenting my outfits once again. I apologize for the lack of content here, but the loss of someone great in your life kind of torpedoes your motivation and ability to carry on. No hard feelings though, Yodel, I still love you very much.
As for veganism. Well who would of thought the pizza loving meat eater would ever last more than a day as a vegan. I guess I did! Sunday marked my 1 week-aversary with veganism and I feel... Great? I'm not really sure what to expect with the whole omitting meat and diary from my diet. I haven't lost weight, and I haven't seen really any improvements in my mental state. I of course did go vegan for the animals, but all of those documentaries talking about the never ending benefits of going vegan had me feeling like I was going to be doing something great for myself as well. Not everything is about yourself, though.
Admittedly I do struggle. My mind is still in the mode where I think- oh well I need a glass of milk with this vegan cookie, or, oh wow that chicken looks good, let me get a bite of that. I have to make a conscious effort to not reach for cheddar popcorn or butter on toast. It's mind boggling how much you have to think about what you're eating. I've found myself in food ruts where I simply eat the same things over and over again, like fried rice and tofu. Sort of defeating the purpose of healthy eating. I think tomorrow I will begin some serious eating readjustments, along with an outfit pic.
Wish me luck.
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