Vegan
noun: a person who omits any animal product from their consumption
It was a long emotional day. I had just gotten an update on my very first dog's health.
Kidney failure.
My heart has never hurt so much in my entire life. I conclude most nights either sobbing or exhausted from crying throughout the day. No one told me when introducing Yodel into my life that the good bye would be this excruciatingly painful.
I eagerly await the meal following my sister's dance competition. Today was a day of celebration and togetherness, not sadness and dark clouds looming overhead. I have struggled all of my life with using food as a resource of comfort, and today was no different. My Mom promised us she would take us to "Pieology", a build your own pizza restaurant, after the competition. After ordering copious amounts of meat for my pizza, I noticed my sister picked up a raspberry salad and picked out all of the blue cheese.
"Do you not like blue cheese or something?" She typically is a rather picky eater, so I expected a snarky remark such as "No, blue cheese sucks."
I pick up my first piece of pizza and soak it in ranch, ready to indulge.
"I'm trying to become vegan." She blurts out right as I go in for the heart attack inducing first bite.
I do a double take and chuckle.
"Why? Don't you want pizza right now?"
She rolls her eyes while simultaneously cringing.
"Yeah, obviously I want pizza, but the mistreatment of all of those cows and pigs and chickens makes me want to give it up for the good of those poor animals."
Thousands of guilty feelings rush through my head. Yeah, I know, the living conditions and mistreatment of those animals. But, I just can't resist. I look down at my greasy, cheesy, ranch soaked pizza slice and pause for a moment.
How can she be vegan? How could you pass up something so delicious and indulgent for an animal somewhere out in Indiana?
On the car ride home I feel my muffin top exploding over my once well fitting shorts. I'm exhausted from the walk back to the car and I can feel my stomach churning the fat and grease around, trying to cope with the disgusting food I just attempted to fuel my body with.
As soon as I get home I have this overwhelming feeling of regret.
Two things come up in my mind.
1. I feel like shit. Where those 15 minutes of bliss worth this weighed down, grease ball feeling?
2. How many f*cking animals did I just consume in one meal?
Surely I had no intentions of changing. Yes, I would love to have the pleasure of saying "Oh, I'm a vegan." And feel an overwhelming sense of self control. But could I really do it? What about the Asiago cheese? The orange chicken from Panda Express? The incredible sushi?
I thought more and more about it. There has to been some sort of vegan gourmet cheese.. Right? And orange chicken, couldn't I just buy the sauce and put it on a bed of rice? And the sushi... Hello! Earth to Sabrina,! Have you heard of a veggie tempura roll?
The more I thought of about it and the options there were... It didn't seem so scary after all.
I'm not like most fast food junkies. I have a deep appreciation for a great kale salad, and snacking on cherry tomatoes while watching TV, so how hard would it be to cut out these meats and dairy products?
I took to the internet, one of the greatest places to source information. I have watched Food Inc in the past, but I wanted something more specific to veganism. I found this amazing documentary called "Vegucated" and made it halfway through before really hearing about the main reason I want to stop...
The animals.
When the movie finally transitioned from the light hearted skits to the dismal outcome of all factory produced animals, my heart sank.
I won't go into details about the gruesome things that are done to the chicks and cows and pigs, but if you are feeling up to it, I would recommend educating yourself.
I guess it took one more reminder that, hey! Guess what! Animals are still being slaughtered for my person gain on a regular basis.
So here I am. One day down and meat, egg, and dairy free.
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I hope you all enjoyed my little story of how I came to see myself as a potential candidate to be vegan. I intend to do a one week update, and a one month, and so on. I really want to stick with it so we will see where I end up.
Until then, stay well dressed!
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